When I made the choice to start feeling my way through life instead of running away from my problems I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Most days are filled with wide-eyed wonder at how many colors there are in the world. Some days are an absolute shit storm of overwhelming emotions.
What does being your own hero mean? Are you good enough? Are you capable? Can you do it alone?
When we wait for other people to take control of our lives we are sending the message that we don’t trust ourselves with our own lives. Could this be true for you?
Have you ever sat around wondering about how much better your life would be if only someone would come save you?
I spent most of the time in relationships thinking that they would get better if only my partner would decide that they really wanted to be with me. Surely they would change the way
I would be stuck in my stupidity…er, I mean that I would be making my latest attempt to feel better when I would suddenly realize that I’m actually feeling worse. I would be sitting at my machine of the moment and I would experience a brief moment of clarity when I could see that I was losing too much money and that I was hungry and had to go to the bathroom.
When you’re stuck in your stuff it’s hard to pry yourself away from it. I had to figure out a way to get my mind off of it.
One of the most important steps I used to overcome my gambling addiction was to take my DOSE. DO Something Else.
When my chance at change came with my moment of clarity I usually would remember that being hostage to the stupid machine sucked. I cashed out my money (if I was lucky enough to have any left), got up and left the casino. Just doing that helped clear my mind and made me feel better. The next step depended on the situation, but I would usually go for a walk or go home to sleep. Whatever it was that would lighten my mood and help me feel even better.
What can you do differently? Stop mid-bite. Throw the bag of chips away. Don’t return the email from your affair. Turn off the computer. Something for you came to mind, right? Now that you have some new ideas you can choose to do something else. Celebrate your success!
What is your DOSE? How has it helped you?
Please share your comments below.
P.S. This tip can also be found in my book Numb No More along with more helpful solutions.
Is it possible to see problems, habits and addictions in an amusing and helpful way?
Yep. Here we go.
There are times in life when you step in the middle of a big steamy pile of poo. When you realize you’ve done this smelly thing you have options:
You could keep walking and hope that it will eventually wear off. This occurs when we are in denial. You know, “I don’t have a problem.”
How about pausing for moment to take a whiff? Something smells a bit off but you choose to postpone it and keep moving. “I will quit the next time I (insert your favorite ‘this is the last time’ experience here).”
Then there’s the possibility that you saw it coming but got distracted and stepped in it anyway. “I won’t get hooked the first time. That only happens to other people, not me.”
You could always look down, see that the mess exists and decide that it stinks and you aren’t going to take it anymore. Then you get it off your shoe. “I’m tired of wasting my life on this stupid problem (habit, addiction). This has got to stop. Now.” At this point you might go get a book (Numb No More is a great one), find a meeting or phone someone who can help.
Choose to shake the s–t off your shoe. Create a better life for yourself. You deserve the best you know.
Tell your story. Share your thoughts with a comment or two.
Addiction can be such a dreadful topic. You already know that it sucks and that you aren’t happy. It’s like there is a dark cloud hanging over it.
Blah.
Lets look at it differently. Everyone is addicted to something. Shopping, shoes, smoking, tv, cookies, ice cream, Starbucks, pills, drugs, gambling, sex, internet….I think you get the idea.
So what’s my point? When you are ready to be done with your habit it will be easier to kick if it isn’t so dreary.
How can we make that happen?
Decide you’re ready to do better.
Focus on the positive of where you want to be.
Take steps toward that goal without looking back.
Prepare yourself to enjoy your success.
ENJOY!!!
I understand that you have probably been holding a shovel and digging yourself a grand canyon. Ok, so what? Don’t you think you’ve beaten yourself up enough with your addiction? What good does it do you to look back? Sometimes I use it as a reminder of where I don’t want to be. If I start the beatings I shift my focus. I hurt myself long enough.
Let yourself do better. It’s time. The world needs you.
When I made the choice to start feeling my way through life instead of running away from my problems I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Most days are filled with wide-eyed wonder at how many colors there are in the world. Some days are an absolute shit storm of overwhelming emotions.
Have you ever sat around wondering about how much better your life would be if only someone would come save you?
